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Is Xbox One back in the race with go-faster stripes?
Mon, 5th Aug 2013
FYI, this story is more than a year old

Following news that the Xbox One's 53MHz bump to its GPU speed failed to impress gamers, an increasingly frantic Microsoft has revealed the console will feature go-faster stripes.

Speaking at a press conference, the Daily Pixel reports that corporate vice-president Marc Whitten explained how the announced 6.62% speed boost combined with the addition of go-faster stripes (available in red or navy blue) would ensure that the Xbox One remained a viable contender against the PS4.

“After I realised people were still worried about the capabilities of the console I called an emergency meeting of our senior engineers and demanded that they do something," he said.

“It was a tense meeting. They were all shouting at me, saying I couldn’t just keep making shit up as I went along, that I lacked a clear vision and that they couldn’t work under these sort of conditions.

“Suddenly someone yelled why not just add go-faster stripes and the room collapsed into laughter, I assume because they couldn’t believe they hadn’t thought of it earlier.

“Naturally I told them to implement it immediately.”

Is Xbox One back in the race with go-faster stripes? Tell us your thoughts below