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Pitch Perfect 2: worse than boiled vegetables

Whenever I’m forced to sit through a bad movie I like to think I punish it by writing the most hilarious review of all time packed with pot shots galore. 


Pitch Perfect 2 was so bad it took away my will to be humorous.

I’m no Pitch Perfect hater. In fact, I was expecting the first film to be absolutely terrible and stupid so I was wonderfully surprised to find it absolutely enjoyable. I liked the actors. It was funny. It had Adam DeVine from Workaholics. Win. 

The sequel had all the same attributes. Rebel Wilson is hilarious. Anna Kendrick is a delight. Adam DeVine from Workaholics was returning. But. It just wasn’t good.

For starters, the group’s nemesis was a bunch of racially stereotyped German caricatures that were so ridiculous they were like those hot alien girls from Dude Where’s My Car. Except not hot at all.

As people sat in the cinema laughing at all the insipid jokes, I actually asked, are they watching something else? I even went to the toilet in the middle of the movie. I never do that. But any climax the film was coming to didn’t outweigh the thrill of no longer needing to pee. 

The film has a 69% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I don’t understand this universe. I understand why it’s made so much at the Box Office ($70 million and counting), because people, including myself, were expecting it to be great, so they went along unaware they were about to want to kill themselves. But 69% approval? Who is reviewing it? Idiots, that’s who. 

Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins reprised their commentator roles from the first film, and they were the only saving grace. The movie should have just been about them. Theirs were the only jokes that were funny. Theirs were the only characters that stayed the same and didn’t change to suit the new plot of the sequel. 

There’s also a ridiculous cameo from Snoop Dogg and it sucked. 

That’s all. Sorry.