FutureFive NZ - Why Bristlr has nothing on Tinder, despite the beards

Warning: This story was published more than a year ago.

Why Bristlr has nothing on Tinder, despite the beards

I was every excited for the new dating app, Bristlr; a new app intended to bring together those with beards with those who love beards.

As a beard lover, and an original beard lover at that (back when beards only covered the faces of a select few of outcast men who listened to metal and lived in shacks in the bush; thanks for ruining that one too, hipsters), I was quite intrigued by the idea of an app that made it rather easy to meet blokes with beards, instead of having to continuously swipe right until a glorious photo of a bearded man popped on screen on Tinder.

But it seems Beard Tinder is proving more popular with girls than actual bearded men: it's slim pickings.

For an app that had such promise, it's really a piece of unsophisticated crap. I have to login every time I want to use it. It’s slow. It’s not formatted well. 

I can only have one picture so I can't trick my potential suitors with clever camera angles, which in turn means I only get to judge a potential suitor’s beard based on one photo. 

My profile photo is sideways, so I look like a moron who doesn't know how up use the technologies and the internets, and I only know when a bearded man has messaged me when I receive an email notifying me of a message. 

I never thought I would actually appreciate Tinder and its ease of use, despite it's lack of bearded and non-douchebag men.

Furthermore, there is just not enough people subscribed to the app. There are only about ten beards in the Bristlr community. If that's all its launch could manage, I don't imagine it will be around for long.

Also. I matched with a 20-year-old bearded boy. I’m 29. Get better filters.

So for now I say goodbye to the hope of meeting a burly bearded man via a silly app, and go back to checking Tinder while I'm on the toilet. Sorry Bristlr. And sorry Tinder.

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