“Words cannot express how much I hate this printer”

In one of the most brutally honest Trade Me adverts ever posted, a disgruntled Kiwi has taken disliking a printer to the extreme.

With over 90,000 views and 75 bids already, user nickftward has branded his HP Wireless Printer "possessed", displaying a genuine hatred for a product he is desperately trying to sell.

Based in Kapiti, Wellington, the auction closes on July 10 and is fast attracting attention, with a bucket load of questions/comments flooding the listing.

And here's why, check out the advert below:

HP Wireless Printer (possessed)Current bid: $260.00 Reserve met Closes: Wed 10 Jul, 2:30 pm Listing #:

Words cannot express how much I hate this printer. It never works when I need it to - it's like it knows when I have to urgently print something. It randomly decides if it wants to work wirelessly or not. And scanning wirelessly? Forget about it!

When you first turn it on it will play an endless symphony of sounds that are simply there to fool you into thinking that it might actually do what it's designed to do. Don't be fooled. This thing is evil incarnate.

I've spent hours on the phone to HP trying to set it up. It has made my life a misery. That is why I am getting rid of it.

So why on earth would you want this unholy piece of garbage? Well there's a good chance it will work for you there's nothing technically wrong with it except it has a soul of pure darkness. Maybe you can tame it.

Also it has BRAND NEW PRINTER CARTRIDGES IN IT. I put these in in the blind hope it might decide to work properly - it didn't. So at the very least you will get new(ish) cartridges. This is virtually as new but I want it out of my life for good!

So here's the deal you must come and collect it. If you twist my arm I might mail you the ink cartridges but only if the price is right.

Also if you, like me, think that Hewlett Packard makes the worst printers in the history of technology then I will SMASH this piece of sub-standard feculence into a million pieces on your behalf and send you a tiny bit of it for your collection.

I will also post a video of the smashing to Youtube so you and all your friends can enjoy watching it get what's coming to it.

However, if you want to come and get it that's fine as well I guess - but be warned with this printer also comes it's terrible curse.

Hatred

Branding the product a "sexless joyless monster", the user urges the public to not "feel pity for it", insisting the printer would "kill you and everything you love in a heartbeat."

In either an act of genuine hatred or genius marketing, the account is gathering interest by the minute, subsequently raising the cash as a bidding war commences.

It must also be known that nickftward boasts a 100% feedback rating, meaning what is he saying could well be true…

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